30 years, 2 days, 4 hours and counting

So I turned 30 two days ago....
I turned 30. Two days ago.
I'm 30.

This is odd. Not only is this odd to think about, it's odd to say out loud, it's odd to write down. I'm 30. I had a moment at the gym on the elliptical yesterday; it asks my age and my weight and I had to pause to remember that my age now starts with a 3. Three. Zero. A guy I met yesterday, asked "How are you?" I respond with "Great, I just turned 30". He gave me a look that I read as "are you seriously happy about that?". I think I am. This has been coming since the day I was born and of course by the grace of God I have actually made it here. However, I can't lie. I have had a bit of anxiety about something in the past week or so. I could not put my finger on what exactly was making me anxious but no doubt this birthday was a contributing factor. And while many mistake my thoughts and anxiety surrounding this birthday as a fear of aging, of getting old, it is not that at all. For me, it's wondering if I really have learned anything, if I am better now than I was a year ago, 10 years ago. If my 30's will actually represent a stronger sense of who I am and who I am called to be. I can only pray that this will actually come to be, that I can fully realize who I am, appreciate all of what that means, take the rest as a learning experience and leave the crap behind.

Inevitably people ask what I am doing to celebrate. A few years ago, I thought my 30th birthday party would be an event. Something requiring pretty invitations, fabulous dresses and amazing cocktails. Now that it's here, all I want to do is be surrounded by the people that have made my life a rich and wonderful experience. To see and be a part of things that bring joy to my life and funny, pretty invitations and amazing cocktails did not come to mind. Although fireworks did! Also funny, these people I choose to spend my time with, have made the past few days amazing and I didn't even ask them for any of it. God has blessed me in more ways than I have ever hoped for and the out pouring of love on this birthday is really cementing that idea in my mind and the feeling in my heart. If my 20's were about getting to know myself, than I pray that my 30's are about getting to know those around me on a deeper level, to grow relationships with family, friends and God. To build this wonderful, beautiful life that I will look back on fondly and with great joy.

My name is Nina Michelle Stott and I am 30.